“You were born to create regardless of the outcome. You will never lose trust in the creative process, even when you don’t understand the outcome.”— Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic
(4 min read)
I have been working on having a website for quite some time now. Most of the time I’ve spent on it was resisting it though. The journey to get here was not as pretty as you’d think.
I have struggled for countless years on having the confidence and power within myself to try to stand out. Sure – I was rather artistic and kind, but that’s pretty much all I thought I had going for me. I was never athletic enough, talented enough, smart enough, blah blah blah. These things are of course not true, but I was just getting down on myself and really being the block that was feeding the narrative that being hidden from the world was better.
Suddenly, about a year ago – something in me changed. A traumatic event and a lot of time to just sit and think catapulted me into this large concept that had no end goal – I needed to do something that showcased what I really thrived in. A food SOMETHING. Something bigger than the SSWS Instagram, since I already had that started up by this point. An e-book? Sure! I drew up plans on what the pages could look like. I began mulling over format, consistency, themes and other things that I really had no experience with. It did not feel right. A recipe-less cookbook? Now that’s what I’m talking about! After a conversation with a friend, who was upfront saying that a majority of people need recipes and are not as go with the flow at cooking like I am – I put that idea to the side. A restaurant? Not attainable in my life right now and that is just a fact.
Listen, I have a lot of ideas. My brain doesn’t shut off ever (long run history with anxiety and overthinking – it’s something I’m working on, I promise) and I love to overwhelm myself and say yes to everything. I wanted to make this all work somehow: an e-book that was easily accessible, a recipe-free inspiring cooking experience that would also impact people. I work two jobs, still want to pursue visual art, have a lot going on in my life personally and can’t say yes to everything. Burn out is real and I’m in my early 20s, I needed to be logical in my approach. So on a car ride home, I thought a little bit.
Here is what I knew to be true:
– I can articulate the relationship of words, thoughts and feelings rather well.
– I can cook.
– I can give a really in-depth detail filled description about cooking with no issues.
– I have all of the modern tools to make a blog run.
– I was willing to put all of the 15 other ideas I had in mind away in a box in the back of my mind somewhere for now.
– I felt ready.
After some self compromising and committing to one thing (okay two technically since I run an Instagram for SSWS too…), I started this website. I threw my lack of confidence and desire to not be seen out the window, and just WENT for it.
Here we are. The first post. Live and here for you to see. As soon as I decided to do this, I created this whole website in two days. I’m so excited just thinking about making this public, that I’m writing this first post days before I intend on sharing it. My goal is to pick a topic and release a standard blog post on that topic once a week. My other content will consist of behind the scenes of my cooking, a full on recipe, a product review or some other fun idea that I will share with you at least twice a week. I’m hoping that isn’t too ambitious but once I decide what schedule works for me, I’ll let you friends know.
Thank you for those who encouraged me to start a blog. To those that encouraged me to push through the creative road blocks and not be attached to an outcome. To those that had no idea I was going to do this but are still super stoked about it. I can’t wait for us to have some fun.