(5-6 min read)
I never thought April would come but today is April 6th – what a wonderful thing. April has always been the month that has showers that inevitably lead to budding and blooming flowers but this year, the recipe is adjusted a bit. Floral beauty will still arrive on it’s own, but we aren’t able to see it in the same ways as years prior. As I sit in my living room – the sun still tucked away in it’s blanket of the very early morning – I look at my house plants. These little guys are doing alright, but it’s as if they are craving fresh air, in person conversation, and a meal out in a restaurant like I am. At least they’re safe inside, just like we’re told we are too.
Welcome to my thoughts on what the past month has looked like and what kind of meals I’ve been eating to get me through.
Before reading any further, I wanted to disclose: I’m not aiming to get wildly dark with this post but I also feel as though it’s important to not be deep in toxic positivity (sounds like a make believe term but it’s real) in a time that truly is uncomfortable and full of shared grief. I like being real and despite my tendencies to sugar coat situations in my life as a coping mechanism to not really deal with them properly – this isn’t that! Stay real, stay safe, stay healthy and maintain the excited learner mentality right now as that’s really all we can do. Proceed!
I scrolled through my camera roll to find out what photos I took and what I was doing a month ago between March 6th + 7th. Crying over how I missed my boyfriend, organized my fridge, saw my friend’s two and half week old baby, got a hair cut, went out to visit said boyfriend at a bar that he worked at. I was sitting. in a bar. sipping away on prosecco. as everyone was briefly mentioning coronavirus (what is that? hmm sounds really strange) and moving onward with their conversations. 1. That feels like a year ago since that happened. 2. A month ago, we were all out and about surrounded by strangers in public places without a care in the world. 3. Why do I feel like an idiot and how do I process what I just wrote?
Answer to point three is: You just move on and don’t really process it. We’re in a time of response to trauma which inhibits your ability to concentrate and navigate through current experiences based off of past ones. My thoughts for weeks about that night out (which was seriously two full hours at most) were: was I exposed? What did I touch? Did I touch my face that night? Did I get more personal germs that could be the virus from my boyfriend as I hugged him when I left? I don’t remember these simple things not because I drank too much, but because we have never been so parented by the CDC and media in my lifetime until this whole thing happened. We are not programmed to be 1000% aware of our bodies and every single move they make as we go about our day. But now we are.
Toxic. Toxic. Toxic. Panic. Panic. Panic. (but for good reason and flattening the curve of course. Still sucks?)
The month of March was later filled with finding a stray cat under my apartment building, making some digital drawings, going on hikes, making a plant video I never posted, having my first ever food event canceled, not having my two part time incomes, feeling terrified, being overly tired – and here we are. Things are not all bad though and I want to emphasis that despite the narrative of the past few paragraphs. Real!
HERE ARE SOME POSITIVE THINGS I HAVE DONE
- Support a local farmer for fresh meat and eggs that she so kindly delivered to my doorstep.
- Bought art from four artists that supports them or a cause they care about! (@jhumanofficial + @charlavail for their Nashville Tornado Relief sticker, @vicbits for a print, and @abetensiaillustration (on insta but clickable link for Etsy) for a ‘pandemic opossum’ drawing.
- Donated to Little Woodfords’ go fund me to help support them during this tough time.
- Began to offer by donation digital pet portraits on my art account
- Eating the most intuitively and as guilt free as I can
Thankfully we still have that! I’ve been craving lots of carb and starch heavy foods, which has a direct effect on your serotonin amount and the mood boosting need is certainly there in my life. Here’s a peek at a few meals I’ve eaten!
My send off thoughts: Support an artist if you can, donate or utilize a take out/curbside service (if you feel comfortable or in a financially safe place to do so) from a local to you business or food establishment, work out with a buddy over face time, nourish your body in the ways that truly make you feel good, start seeds if you have them already, REST, try some art out maybe? get creative with pantry items, reach out to family members, keep all the distance possible – you know the drill.
We’ll get through this together, separately. Everything is temporary.
Thanks so much for reading! If you want any ideas on how to utilize items in your pantry or just want to chat, contact me any time. Hang in there and get to eating!